Bunker Down

And then there was one

2012-01-31T15:12:00.000-05:00

Several months have passed since the amazing summer of 2011. It was tons of fun while it lasted - this blog didn't even come close to capturing half of the silliness (mostly because we were encouraged to keep it family friendly, or at least PG). I seem to be the only one that can't get enough of this place though -- I still regularly set up shop in the bunker room, doing work. All my other partners in crime have left for greener (or at least better-lit) pastures.

Uploading the skit to the internet turned out to be quite a hassle, but I may get around to it before the summer comes. Maybe. Thanks to everyone who helped make it a success.

Anyhow, in a few short weeks, the new interns will start to be selected for the upcoming summer. I know you'll get to do some great work. However, just letting you know now -- there is no way you'll create a better skit than we did, so don't bother trying.

Last Week

2011-07-25T09:38:00.000-04:00

Dear all,

our last week is upon us. As we close down for the summer, I'll try and make sure there is a post a day. I also highly encourage everyone to share a reflection from the summer, here and on other blogs.

peace.

2011-07-17T13:55:00.000-04:00

I'm officially a fan of Australian morning television. Or maybe just "Today."

JustChildren Wiffleball

2011-07-15T13:42:00.001-04:00

JustChildren folks love kids -- and kids' games. Today, we decided to use our lunch to go outside and play a childhood favorite: wiffleball. Lance, Cari and Priscilla of JustChildren showed up, along with Neal from Immigrant Advocacy, Thom and Kate from CVLAS Cville (YES! they do exist!) and Randy from Civil Advocacy. (Sorry, Randy is not pictured). We had fun, showing off our fancy pitches, and feeling like giants, squashing little tiny balls with a puny little bat. All in all, an average day for the JustChildren experience.

[EDIT: the pictures look a lot better bigger. Click on them to see them in all their crystal clear cell phone-camera-based glory]

Neal is ready to play!

The dugout is cheering everyone on... (from left to right -- Kate (CVLAS), Priscilla, Neal, Cari)

Starting my swing a little late. Thom was really bringing the heat. Apparently, I was playing with a rubber bat.

A hit! (The ball is in the top left) (Please ignore my lackluster form)

Good times were had by all. Except for Priscilla, who didn't get to play because of a nasty ankle injury. :( Get better Priscilla!

JustChildren in the News

2011-07-11T16:45:00.000-04:00

How much do we have to tell a teacher if a kid commits a crime?

Lisa Bennett of JustChildren Richmond answered some questions for this story on takepart.com. Worth a read, especially if you're into juvenile justice and education issues.

Legal Aid work is exhausting

2011-07-08T15:06:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I have to preface this with: these people do a ton of work, and work way over hours. But every now and then, trying to run a legal aid office with a handful of attorneys and a handful of interns is just too much. Let this be a warning to you: LEGAL AID WORK IS TIRING. But we enjoy it. Perhaps we'd enjoy it more with a siesta.

[PICTURES REMOVED AT THE REQUEST OF INTERESTED PARTIES]

Bowling Night

2011-06-24T09:21:00.007-04:00

Grand Master Attorney, Civil Advocacy, Order of the Third Degree, Mr. John Conover Esq. requested that boilermate Randy Barr organize a bowling outing for the interns and staff. Last night, Randy succeeded in his assignment, bringing together attorneys John Conover, Claire Curry, Tim Freilich, and our very own Crystal Shin to bowl with legal aid interns from LAJC and CVLAS (plus a few others).

Randy deserves credit for organizing a high quality evening: pizza, beer, bowling and friends (ahem, "networking") is a treat that we rarely get to enjoy.

Crystal had great form, unfortunately I only grabbed this photo of her patiently awaiting a strike.

Fellow bunker soldier Cari was also pretty awesome. Can she pick up the spare?

Si, se puede!

Eventually, John challenged the interns to a Staff v. Interns bowl-o-rama. John hand picked the intern team -- two boilerfolk (Randy and Madison) and two bunker soldiers (Priscilla and Neal). I'm still working on getting the videos of the event to load, but here's an image to sum it all up. Note: Interns are on the right, Randy's amazing score is on the bottom right. The score totals are on the bottom, bottom right.

Better luck next time staff! Er, I mean, it was a pleasure bowling with you guys! Please give us jobs in the future.

Accomplishment and Frustration

2011-06-23T15:41:00.005-04:00

ハッパタイの「やった！」
中村ヒロの「やった！」

やった (read: Yatta), roughly translated is "I/we did it!"

We've definitely got the "やった！" vibe going on here.

We finished a brief for an upcoming hearing. The brief was a major undertaking, and was composed through the major contributions of basically everyone at JustChildren. We hope for a favorable outcome of course, but it's good to just have it done. I can't speak for anyone else on the team, but I know that I am really excited about getting together a genuine document that will be filed with a court after hours and hours of work. We're kind of beaming with a sense of accomplishment. :)

However, at the same time I was introduced to some of the court documents that end up getting filed against our clients. While we regularly file 25+ page, thoroughly researched briefs, our clients sometimes appear to be up against one or two page, double-spaced gigantic-margin memos, complete with spelling and grammatical errors. ... and sometimes our clients lose. It is frustrating to know that our clients can be defeated with such minimal effort. I hope for a different outcome this time, but I am worried.

This process has also presented an opportunity to reflect on our profession: in the academic setting, 25+ pages of well-argued, thoroughly researched work would hopefully get a better grade than 150 sort-of words jumbled together, sans-citation, sans-spell check. But it's not about grades anymore, but about outcome. And, in a moment of uncomfortable candor: I don't know how to adjust my expectations to a system that doesn't necessarily reward an excellent product.

Thoughts in the comments.

Just because I can't leave a post on a downer, here's some blurbs from Australian morning television.

First, apparently they didn't have the foresight to realize that if you need a translator for your joke, its doomed to fail. (#awkwardalert)

Second, they have a lot of fun on that show, talking about home invaders. (#itjustgetsbetterasitkeepsongoing)

Missiles and Mastheads

2011-06-22T15:57:00.003-04:00

1) I will be updating the Masthead (and maybe the name?!) for our blog. Same url, different feel. Maybe tonight.

2) Anthony doesn't like listening to people. So, sometimes you have to throw things at him. And sometimes those things miss.

Thursday Update

2011-06-16T15:17:00.003-04:00

A brief survey of the legal aid blog world:

CVLAS Richmond is reporting that LAJC and CVLAS got a pretty cool grant from the Charlottesville Area Community Foundation.

Maybe we can use that money to buy people some happiness. Priscilla, our resident law-intern-by-day-CPA-by-night, is currently calculating how much happiness $50k can buy. According to Princeton, we are $25k short of the $75k needed for deep, personal satisfaction.

LAJC Boiler Room has our sports coverage, which you won't want to miss. Turns out Mr. Murashige can hang with the Sharklord. In racquetball at least.

Dirty South has some pretty cool coverage of the actual work that legal aid interns do. Well, at least, the work that we would do with a third-year practice license.

And Bunker Room has... motivational videos. We actually do work, we promise.

Keep your eyes out for a user by the name "BoilerMaster-BunkerBuster" who may or may not be the LAJC Executive Director aka "the big boss man." Moderately well-known fact: Big boss man traces some of his roots to AppalReD, the Appalachian Research and Defense Fund. AppalReD is a very cool organization -- I got to work there for a week this past spring. I highly recommend the Alternative Spring Break Trip to their Prestonsburg, KY office if you get a chance. (If you're not UVa Law, try setting up an ASB trip of your own to help out -- lots of other schools went there as well).

We're looking for blogs from all the other LAJC and CVLAS offices. Anybody know where they are?

Also, Boiler Room is looking for the login information for the old boiler room site. Does anybody out there know who worked as an intern in LAJC last summer?

In other news, NY Post has some informative headlines for today's news. "Weiner Pulls Out," "Weiner Wraps it Up" etc. Also, there's a page where you can vote on the best Weiner headlines. If you feel like being a thirteen-year old boy, I suggest heading over there.

Keep going strong. We're doing good work.

Thumbs up, you can do it!

2011-06-14T12:36:00.003-04:00

Grades are trickling out in the next couple days.

OGI bidding is up.

Our assignments are getting longer, and more substantial. But, you just need to remember this: you can do it.

Don't believe me? Listen to this kid (who could end up being a dictator later in life -- he has the delivery down).

You should commit that to memory. If memorizing songs is easier for you, then the folks who do AutoTune the News have come to your aid. (I expect a rousing rendition tomorrow).

Dependent on Technology

2011-06-13T13:55:00.002-04:00

During a Bunker Room contact info sharing session, the following conversation took place:

Bunker-ite A: Geez, I don't get signal down here, I'll have to e-mail you my phone number.

Bunker-ite B: ... or you could just tell me...

It's that kind of day.

Weekend Update

2011-06-11T10:24:00.003-04:00

Good luck to Boiler Room's Ms. Nebraska and friends as they run through a grueling mud course dressed as Supreme Court Justices. Legal Aid interns: now getting down and dirty with the law 6 days a week.

Link Up!

2011-06-10T08:55:00.002-04:00

CVLAS Richmond, CVLAS Petersburg and LAJC Boilerroom all have new blogs. You can get at them from our sidebar. But don't bother spending too much time on them -- you might miss something interesting at the Lonely Island.

The Lonely Island fights Oppression!

2011-06-09T13:48:00.002-04:00

The Bunker Room is helping fight injustice left and right. People are talking about us.

Read all about it below:

http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/2011/jun/09/TDMET01-board-probes-change-at-juvenile-centers-ar-1095437/

and http://www2.timesdispatch.com/news/2011/jun/08/tdmain01-juvenile-justice-policy-disputed-ar-1092679/

and http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/va-juvenile-justice-board-votes-to-protect-gay-youth-from-discrimination-over-ags-objection/2011/06/08/AGVRhDMH_story.html

In Other News

2011-06-09T11:52:00.005-04:00

This post is all about cool hats. Here is a cool hat, engaged in lively demonstration:

Here is a cool hat hanging out with all its friends:

I'm just going to leave this here.

A Glimpse into the Hardworking Life of "Who's My Daddy"

2011-06-07T14:00:00.001-04:00

A hardworking staffer at LAJC comes into the bunker for pressing technological advice:

LAJC staff: "Hey, I'm buried enough, so you can come over to help me out"

Who's My Daddy: "Yeah, just give me five minutes. I'm talking to my sister"

A sausage fest plus a married woman

2011-06-07T08:52:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts in recent days. The diligent soldiers of the bunker have been working diligently for justice and everything. Meanwhile, boilerpeeps were nowhere to be found this morning.

Anyhow, there are lots of guys in the bunker room. And one married woman. This leads to a lot of pent up aggression.

Yesterday it manifested as a day-long footsy game between Neal "my 'shoes' are size 13" Modi and Priscilla "Your feet are beyond the median line, and if you touch me one more time, I swear..." Ochu-Arthus.

How will it manifest today?

In other news, we're supposed to get a new intern. We just want friends. And possibly a balance for the excessive testosterone contained in the room.

Every breath you take, every move you make...

2011-06-01T14:41:00.003-04:00

I'll be watching you. - the Police

Lesson learned: If you encroach on the bunker, we will monitor you.

I have no idea what these boilerfolk are doing, but they've been doing it for hours.

Trust me, I'm an undergraduate

2011-05-31T14:49:00.002-04:00

Anthony: The skit is going to be horrible. Unless it isn't.

Neal "the Undergraduate" Modi: Don't worry guys, it's going to be awesome. I've done this before.

Lance: What, a skit?

Neal: yeah, it's all under control.

Lance Gets an Image

2011-05-31T14:41:00.002-04:00

So Lance doesn't get away without a picture in the directory.

Introducing...

Lance Yukio "L.Y.M. aka 'Loves Your Mother' " Murashige

Mother-loving good.

New Additions with Photo Directory

2011-05-31T13:36:00.004-04:00

Two new additions!

Neal "the Undergraduate" Modi

And Anthony "Who's My Daddy?" Gulotta

These folks join Priscilla "Ochu - Arthas" Ochu-Arthus.

(Ochu)

(Arthas)

And me (not pictured).

Good Morning

2011-05-31T08:51:00.001-04:00

I've decided to start the day out positively!

A day in video similes

2011-05-27T19:44:00.003-04:00

For a variety of reasons, today after work I felt like:

This is what they said working at legal aid would be like:

Turns out, its more like:

Enjoyable and awesome, but fast-paced and hair-raising.

Non-sequitor:
Today I learned that Priscilla used to be the captain of her salsa dance team. I found a video of her here:

New summer, new bloggers

2011-05-26T21:04:00.011-04:00

The bunker currently has two lonely soldiers, Lance and Priscilla. After tomorrow, we lose the cheerful support of Katie Ryan. Next week we'll be without Crystal's energy. And the immigration project folks are largely MIA.

So, the blog title mirrors the vibe of the room: we are so ronery.

Perhaps we will end up just like Kim Jong-Il and spend spend a lot of time looking at things as a result of our isolation.

Or perhaps, we will end up being more like our namesake, and occasionally take a humorous boat trip to our brothers and sisters in the boiler room.

In any event, the Lonely Island crew of 2 is actually really excited to work this summer with JustChildren. We've already been given exciting opportunities, and if you stay tuned, you just might get to hear about some of them.

In other news:
1) the "bunker 2" have beaten the "boiler 6+" in getting the blog going. There won't even be a rivalry if you all don't get your act together.
2) follow us on twitter, @cvillebunker.

[EDIT: I couldn't get to sleep, so I thought I'd expand this post a little.]

Kim Jong-Il, fast facts:
1) Film fanatic, and author of "On the Art of the Cinema" (available at amazon.com)
2) Avid golfer, achieves the super-human feat of three or four holes-in-one per round
3) One of Kim Jong-Il's many titles: "Highest Incarnation of the Revolutionary Comradely Love"

My above comments aside, this annual display is fascinating and impressive.

Have a Great Summer!!!

2011-04-29T20:55:00.006-04:00

Hello new LAJC interns!!!

Just wanted to wish you guys a very fun summer in the Bunker Room! We all had an absolute blast last summer! Then again, our skit from last summer probably illustrates that better than we could by saying it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX8sTs-BSrA.

Have a great summer!

Bunker Room Interns, Summer 2010

hiiiiiiii :)

2010-07-27T14:07:00.001-04:00

it's been awhile

Bionic Cat

2010-07-08T11:25:00.000-04:00

True Story of a Mid-Life Crisis

2010-07-01T17:10:00.001-04:00

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html

BELOW IS ALL ATTRIBUTED TO THE ABOVE WEBSITE

THURSDAY, JUNE 17, 2010

This is Why I'll Never be an Adult

I have repeatedly discovered that it is important for me not to surpass my capacity for responsibility. Over the years, this capacity has grown, but the results of exceeding it have not changed.

Normally, my capacity is exceeded gradually, through the accumulation of simple, daily tasks.

But a few times a year, I spontaneously decide that I'm ready to be a real adult. I don't know why I decide this; it always ends terribly for me. But I do it anyway. I sit myself down and tell myself how I'm going to start cleaning the house every day and paying my bills on time and replying to emails before my inbox reaches quadruple digits. Schedules are drafted. Day-planners are purchased. I stock up on fancy food because I'm also planning on morphing into a master chef and actually cooking instead of just eating nachos for dinner every night. I prepare for my new life as an adult like some people prepare for the apocalypse.

The first day or two of my plans usually goes okay.

For a little while, I actually feel grown-up and responsible. I strut around with my head held high, looking the other responsible people in the eye with that knowing glance that says "I understand. I'm responsible now too. Just look at my groceries."

At some point, I start feeling self-congratulatory.

This is a mistake.

I begin to feel like I've accomplished my goals. It's like I think that adulthood is something that can be earned like a trophy in one monumental burst of effort and then admired and coveted for the rest of one's life.

What usually ends up happening is that I completely wear myself out. Thinking that I've earned it, I give myself permission to slack off for a while and recover. Since I've exceeded my capacity for responsibility in such a dramatic fashion, I end up needing to take more recovery time than usual. This is when the guilt-spiral starts.

The longer I procrastinate on returning phone calls and emails, the more guilty I feel about it. The guilt I feel causes me to avoid the issue further, which only leads to more guilt and more procrastination. It gets to the point where I don't email someone for fear of reminding them that they emailed me and thus giving them a reason to be disappointed in me.

Then the guilt from my ignored responsibilities grows so large that merely carrying it around with me feels like a huge responsibility. It takes up a sizable portion of my capacity, leaving me almost completely useless for anything other than consuming nachos and surfing the internet like an attention-deficient squirrel on PCP.

At some point in this endlessly spiraling disaster, I am forced to throw all of my energy into trying to be an adult again, just to dig myself out of the pit I've fallen into. The problem is that I enter this round of attempted adulthood already burnt out from the last round. I can't not fail.

It always ends the same way. Slumped and haggard, I contemplate the seemingly endless tasks ahead of me.

And then I rebel.

2010-06-30T16:13:00.000-04:00

Ninja Cat

2010-06-30T10:42:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzzjgBAaWZw

LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ!

2010-06-30T10:13:00.001-04:00

Due to the enthusiastic response to our earlier post, today our blog will feature hilarious animal pics throughout the day! Enjoy!

LOLZ!

2010-06-30T09:40:00.002-04:00

Rape

2010-06-29T13:32:00.002-04:00

Dena is trying to recruit people to go running with her at night. Some are telling her to go alone, while some are scared for her safety. In an effort to comfort her, Estelle told her that "most rapes occur from people you know". Very comforting indeed.

Goodbye Drew!

2010-06-28T13:15:00.001-04:00

We're heading to Basil at 7pm (across from Lemongrass) partly as just a hangout but also to celebrate Drew's illustrious 5 week stint as a LAJC intern. See everybody there!

THE TENSION IS OVER!!!

2010-06-24T10:36:00.003-04:00

Im very happy to report that a party in honor of Drew has ended tensions between the two rooms! Interroom relations are warm and fulfilling once more.

From the private collection of one of our gracious clients

2010-06-22T12:53:00.000-04:00

Ode to the Boiler Room

2010-06-22T11:39:00.005-04:00

Ode to the Boiler Room

Caitlin, your smile lights up the room,

You say goodbye to all our gloom.

Tamiesha, your just so awesome,

You make our heart-flowers blossom.

Drew,

I only wish I could be as cool as you (says Dena)

Daniel,

We want to dress you up in flannel,

And then make you speak Espanol (says Dena)

Cory, we've said all that can be said.

I need you like i need my daily bread. (says Mark)

Mica,

it's you we really likah likah.

Elizabeth,

We loved your potluck in Ivy,

It was definitely very lively.

Oh Boiler Room, here's our olive branch, we love you guys,

We hope this comes as a nice surprise!

Ode to the Bunker Room (From Cory)

2010-06-21T17:55:00.003-04:00

‘Though the Boiler gives you a hard time,

I’m amazed at your skills with a rhyme.

The girls are all pretty,

And Mark is quite witty.

When Aditi says “y’all” it’s sublime.

Someone in the Bunker can't WAIT until 5

2010-06-21T14:11:00.001-04:00

ITS CORY'S BIRTHDAY!!! OMG!!!

2010-06-21T13:09:00.005-04:00

Ode to Cory

By: The Bunker

Whenever you walk into a room,

We all start to sway and swoon.

Your manliness knows no rival,

You're also very adept with the Bible.

You come and visit oh so often,

You make our cold Bunker hearts soften.

You were sweet enough to bring us doughnuts,

Cause you knew when you did, you would make us go nuts.

When you stand against the door with your mug,

We think to ourselves, "What a cool thug!"

We know we're law students and not poets,

But this beats your cupcake by far and you know it!

RETURN

2010-06-21T10:42:00.001-04:00

Its sooooo great to be back. I missed you all. Except Salami

The Name Controversy

2010-06-17T10:32:00.003-04:00

Rob has been making fun of the recent ambiguity which has been cast upon the name of one our prominent Bunker interns, Dena. Please stop, Rob. Her name in no way resembles a certain Italian deli meat.

Ode to Rolos

2010-06-15T09:48:00.003-04:00

Ode to Rolos

By: Mark

Oh Rolos, your chewy sweetness,

So chewy, so sweet.

You melt in my mouth as

My heart melts in my chest.

Cascading caramel, circling

My taste buds,

Infusing joy into my windowless Bunker life.

Standard morning

2010-06-15T09:15:00.001-04:00

Talk of rape, sex, Ben Stiller, and singing the Boy Meets World Theme Song. Its going to be another entertaining day in the bunker

New Addition

2010-06-14T15:10:00.008-04:00

We have a new intern in the Bunker room- yay! His name is Tomas- he's a fourth year UVa undergrad and has had 6 iphones (that's all I know about him for now).

Mark was relieved to have him join us because there is too much estrogen in the Bunker room. Apparently, being in here is "like being on The View 24/7". That doesn't even make sense.

NOTE: THE ABOVE COMMENT DOES NOT REFLECT THE VIEWS OF MARK RABIDEAU.

Maybe with this new addition we can get this down to 8/5. You know, something more realistic.

Edited to add: the above statement made by Mark Rabideau is a direct quote. These exact words came from his lips.

Quick side note: I have it on good authority that Mark Rabideau is an avid fan of The View and Tivos it daily.

P.S.: Then clearly, Mark feels like he's on the view 24/7 because he is watching it the other 16 hours he is not in the Bunker room.

Please, this is spiraling. We can't maintain the quality of our blog if we keep fighting like this.

Think you see ball lightning on a regular basis? think again!

2010-06-10T14:14:00.002-04:00

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/05/100514-science-ball-lightning-hallucinations-magnetic-fields/

Question of the Day

2010-06-10T14:03:00.002-04:00

Is kissing on the first date okay, or should one wait? If one waits, how long before someone risks getting "friend-zoned"? (courtesy of R. Kiss. Btw, his answer to this later question is 3 dates)

Here's a special Cindy Kung post:

2010-06-08T10:21:00.003-04:00

Tonight, its the flashy, pompous, conceited Lakers vs. the hard-working, down-to-earth Celtics, the people's team!

Sooooo lonely, Christina and Aditi went to a super fun meeting and left me :(

2010-06-08T09:00:00.000-04:00

Mark has soooooo much room to sleep in

2010-06-02T11:14:00.000-04:00

Estelle has soooooo much room to work in

2010-06-02T11:07:00.001-04:00

2010-06-02T10:51:00.004-04:00

We know how to use this blog!

2010-06-01T19:32:00.001-04:00

This is so exciting! We should make it so that the ONLY thing we're allowed to post on this blog is just how excited we are that we know how to use this blog.

THE SUMMER OF 2010 HAS BEGUN!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-01T19:23:00.003-04:00

This post has a singular purpose: to signify ever so clearly that the Bunker 2010 Blogging squad is a tenacious, vivacious, and audacious group who will be kicking it Bunker-style all summer long!!!!!

Community Youth Justice Jam

2009-08-26T13:43:00.004-04:00

The LAJC

2009-07-21T14:21:00.004-04:00

Killing trees, losing coolers, Michigans, and gangs

2009-07-02T15:57:00.004-04:00

D: I can't find my cooler, which is distressing since my apartment is so small, and my cooler is so big.
__________________________________________

S: I just killed three trees to keep one person in the U.S.

__________________________________________

(After a discussion about Guidos on Long Island)

L: What is a Guido?

(After a discussion about IHOP)

L: I've never eaten at an IHOP before.
M: What? It's the INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes!
D: So you've never heard of a guido, or eaten at an IHOP? What kind of place is Michigan anyway???

________________________________________________

The guy from the jail tour: Did you know there are gang members in Congress? And Venus and Serena Williams are members of the Crips?
C: What? I don't believe that.
K: Wait...who are Venus and Serena Williams?
C: Seriously, Kristin?

One more...

2009-06-26T15:32:00.001-04:00

RIP Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T21:47:00.004-04:00

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

Jackson 5 - I want you back!(check Michael's outfit!)

Duck Tales...OOh Ooh!

2009-06-23T19:45:00.004-04:00

M...this link is for you to become familiar with a cartoon classic.

Duck Tales Intro....

All By Myself....In the Bunker....Song of the Youth Avenger

2009-06-19T12:29:00.005-04:00

(To the tune of All By Myself)

Yesterday.....
I didn't need anyone...
But I'd get distracted just for fun
Those days are gone
Workin' alone
I think of all the jokes we've told
But when I look across the room...
I'm all alone....

All by myself
Dont wanna be
All by myself
Anymore

Hard to be sure
Maybe candy is the cure
For friends so distant and obscure
Hey look a fruit punch jolly rancher....

All by myself
Dont wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Dont wanna work
All by myself
Anymore

When I was busy
I didn't need any distractions
I didn't want to have fun...
Now I'm alone....

All by myself
Dont wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Dont wanna work
Oh
Dont wanna work
By myself, by myself
Anymore
By myself
Anymore
Oh
All by myself
Dont wanna work

I know what you're thinking....but I wrote this all during my lunch break.

2009-06-12T14:21:00.006-04:00

A: But.. the sesame street picture!

B: Are you okay? It sounds like you're laughing.

A: I'm just, I look at it and it makes me sad inside. I'm like "no Elmo, don't do it!"

A: Are you, like Catholic or Jewish or something?

B: No... Well, I took this facebook quiz and it said I was 100% Jewish.

A: Well, that's probably just because you're educated and guilty....

A: Wait, you help people get n-a-t-u-r-a-l-i-z-e-d?

B: Yeah, she specializes in organic immigrants...

A: Oooohhh

2009-06-12T14:17:00.000-04:00

Parking Lot Rap

2009-06-12T13:53:00.008-04:00

Straight from the street (in the LAJC parking lot) to your computer screen...

I'm real slick just like a
serpant It's like I'm da king
and yall ma servants yeah I
run [poop] like comander + chief
I'm so rich that I got gold in
ma teeth so yall [playas] Ain't
touching me riding in a low
paste so aint no rushin me yeah
boy I'm da boss get anything
don't even care what it coast
dat's just the life of a hustler
True gansta ain't livin da life
of a sucka came from a life
of rags but I got riches money
cloths [promiscuous women] + big booty b*ch*s.

Quotes of the Week....6/11/09

2009-06-11T16:41:00.003-04:00

(P talking about Sunny D)

P: It might be orange juice or it might be cancer.

************

L: Have you gotten a dog yet?

M: I was moving....I didn't have time to procure a dog.

R: Really. Did you just say procure a dog?

*************

T: You can't drink twenty of anything without it burning a little.

************

(After eating a chip...L does a little dance)

P: Chip dance?

************

L: I had so many cookies. I had like 2 and a half today.

R: I had like 3.

W: I lost count.

*************

W: Do you know if you eat 3 meals a day, but spread it over six times a day you burn like 10 times more.

G: Wow, fancy math.

(Next day at an official Board meeting)

W: Gosh I've had like 2 breakfasts today...I shouldn't eat anymore.

G: Really cause I heard if you eat 5 meals a day, but spread it over 8 time a day you burn like 10 times more.

P: (Laughing) When we get in the car you are so getting a high five for that one.

*******************

O: I don't have a recycling bin at my apartment, so I do it whenever I can.

L: I know me too...it makes me hurt inside.

O: You know there are places you can go and recycle your stuff.

L: I know, but I'm too lazy to drive it anywhere.

********************

Video of the Day -- June 9th, 2009

2009-06-09T12:10:00.002-04:00

A true classic: "Goat Yelling Like a Man"

THE CHRONIC! (catnip)

2009-06-09T11:01:00.002-04:00

While looking on craigslist to adopt a dog, despite living in an apartment that does not allow pets, I found this link:

http://www.thechroniccatnipcompany.com/ (the strongest stuff to ever hit the street!)

The time has come to put an end to the ruthless catnip consortium’s heartless agenda. The time has come for a new American catnip company, and that time is now, and that company is us. We don’t just sell catnip; we sell justice in a jar. We have sought out and partnered with excusive organic farmers dedicated to hand growing micro batches of the most biologically intense strains of Catnip ever discovered. The result of years of select farming and cultivation can be found here, and only here, in our Crippler Catnippler ™ custom chronic blend. Our Nepetalacton content is out of control - this nip will absolutely blow your cats friggin mind. No other catnip company anywhere in the world can sell you anything that even approaches our level of quality. Sure, others might have something to sell, but they do not have The Chronic, that’s a fact. Just give us a try and ask your cat. Your smallest family member will fall head over paws for the high end quality of our catnip’s premium organic buzz. It's the BOMB!

Kids' Litigation Lioness (AKA Corinne Kizner)

2009-06-07T16:10:00.004-04:00

Welcome to the Jungle...the Juvenile Justice Jungle that is. Things can get challenging around here, but there's nothing the Kids' Litigation Lioness can't do with a crown, a torch, sunglasses, a spandex lion suit, and a pet lion "Leo". When cases get tough, the Lioness gets tougher. With the help of her fellow heroes from the Fortress of Solitude, you can rest assure that kids and immigrants in the Charlottesville and surrounding communities are getting adequate legal assistance. When not saving juveniles from evil, the Lioness enjoys happy hours and lunches with her co-heroes. When asked what the Kids' Litigation Lioness thought of her job so far, she summed it up in one word: "GRRRReat!"

Justice Jive: Quotes of the Day 6/5/09

2009-06-05T17:10:00.004-04:00

Here are some of my favorite quotes of the day. Please add your favorite quotes or edit mine!!

D: I've been accused of using too many commas. One teacher wrote that I sprinkle commas around like fairy dust.

***********

C: Apparently in the 1940s they used to call minors...infants, and I was so confused. In this case they talk about an infant convicted of rape and I was like WHAT!

*********

D: If we don't get ice cream today can we take another field trip?

(A jokes with D)

A: Sure just come to my office and say... (kid voice)... Andy can we go get ice cream?

********

T: I'm from Texas

D: Ooh...I'm sorry....haha I'm messing with it.

******

T: My eyebrows look so weird.

D: What normally or on the super hero

*****

C: one time I pressed the ebt button at the store and the guy asked me if I used food stamps. I was kind of embarrassed, but then I found five dollars....... that was a bad story. (laughter)

S: That saved it though...

******

K: Oh no...I wanted chocolate *pout*

J: Oh...you know what happen...we ate it....

******

C: K how fluent are you in Spanish?

K: Not.

Happy D'ohnut Day!

2009-06-05T10:00:00.008-04:00

June 5th is National Doughnut Day. We are currently researching, among other important legal matters, whether there are any locations in the greater Charlottesville area that are celebrating Donut/Doughnut Day by giving poor interns free donuts. In the meantime, enjoy this video...

Also, has anyone been to a donut place called the fractured prune?
http://www.fracturedprune.com/

Also, the Boiler Room talked a lot of trash about blogging, but there have been grumblings in the Bunker. Quotes like: "What now chumps?" and "Their blog is hurting" and "The background looks like my grandmother's wallpaper" and "Well, they do have starburst though"

Justice Jive: Quotes of the Day

2009-06-04T20:14:00.009-04:00

Here are the random quotes of the day. Please add more or correct mine...

What do you do if you're trying to verify the identity of someone you want to sue?

"Do a toothpaste survey. Ask them what kind of toothpaste they use...if they like it...and then ask where they use to work and where they currently work now."

J: What is that smell...where did you...why do I...where did you get your sandwich?

D: Why...is it fragrant?

*******

J: I just did a fist wag and a fist pump over the same email...

(minutes later...)

D: Does a fist wag cancel out a fist pump?

*****

D: Female lions don't have manes.

C: Oh...I think I gave her a mane...(referring to her newly created superhero)

D: Yeah...it kind of looks like a beard...but a feminine beard.

*****

K: I feel so bad, but S is so convincing.

J: Why?

C: S drove us to Sticks.

K: We were ordering and we could see the office from where we ordered.

S: It could have rained and I don't like crossing streets. It's safer for me to drive.

******

J: Do you like mayo?

K: Yeah...but only with turkey sandwiches.

J: I just got new mayo and I guess there was something wrong with my old mayo...cause I made a sandwich with my new mayo and it was DELICIOUS! (Goes on and on about how delicious the new mayo is)

M: Now I'm a little worried that you were eating the old mayo.

********

Meet La Estupenda Madre Jones (A.K.A Kristin)

2009-05-30T11:33:00.006-04:00

She is a caped crusader for immigrant justice. She and her trusty pet parrot..el loro...help innocent people get the just compensation that they deserve. Watch out employers...she may not be out for blood (hence the lack of a sword and the addition of a book), but she's out for your money!

In the words of her predecessor Mary "Mother" Jones, "Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Harris_Jones

Make Life Better...one Fist Pump at a Time

2009-05-29T18:00:00.003-04:00

Tiger Woods does it.. Kobe Bryant does it... even adorable kids do it...and it makes a world of difference. You might ask what am I talking about...(especially if you didn't read the title of the post)....well I'm talking about the fist pump.

The fist pump is defined by Wikipedia as " a celebratory gesture in which a closed fist is raised before the torso and subsequently drawn down and nearer to the body in a vigorous, swift motion."

Today, KidJustice and Youth Avenger discovered the power of this celebratory gesture involving vigorous and swift motions. They discovered that it made them feel better about taking countless hours to find one cite and weeks to find different versions of the same section in a statutory code. So today...we honor the fist pump...the gesture of champions.

Turning the Tables...

2009-05-29T16:12:00.002-04:00

and making cops work for kids...

Yay for Thursday!! Field Trips & Ice Pops(??)

2009-05-27T21:54:00.004-04:00

Thursday is a BIG field trip day for most of the JustChildren folks...the fortress of solitude (aka the bunker) will be just that for those left behind. I heart field trips (see caricature of me on a school bus lovin' field trips). You know what would be a perfect cap to a field trip...an ice pop party at work.... (see visual aid for said ice pop). Note that I'm not talking about the fancy ice pops with Disney characters on them...I'm talking about the wal-mart ones that taste like frozen kool-aid...with wonderful, assorted flavors like...blue and red. I know what you're thinking...but we can't afford ice pops with real flavors here...seriously...we're in a recession. Ok...I'm callin' it...we're having an ice pop party...the weather better cooperate.

Introducing The Youth Avenger...A.K.A Jeree

2009-05-26T18:51:00.003-04:00

Jeree is a lowly JustChildren Law Clerk by day...but at night...the wings come out and this sword-willing, bird-like sister raises holy heck on those who wish to harm children...Introducing the Youth Avenger....

Meet Kid Justice (A.K.A. Derrick)

2009-05-22T13:30:00.004-04:00

The First Member of Legal Aid Justice League has Emerged from the Fortress of Solitude... meet Kid Justice...a JustChildren law clerk by day...but a sword slinging, batcat having, bunny slipper wearing super hero at night. Watch out all those who seek to harm the young and defenseless...Kid Justice is HERE!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen...

2008-07-24T23:03:00.009-04:00

Yes, it's late summer, and you know what that means.

Just like the annual outbreak of the West Nile Virus, late summer means it's time for LAJC's lackeys to put on the Skit.

After surveying the great literary works of Western civilization--especially the classics from the golden age of skits--getting some good advice from the likes of Andrew Lloyd Webber, and receiving a little divine inspiration, we've finally produced what looks to be a damn fine script. One that we believe is worthy of the fine performing talent in this year's lackey lineup.

You won't want to miss it.

Quote of the Day

2008-07-21T11:04:00.005-04:00

"The thing about this dress is that I'm afraid the buttons are going to come undone."

-- female lackey wearing a dress that looks like an oversized dress shirt

Achtung

2008-07-21T10:43:00.001-04:00

The People's Committee on Dramatic Reinterpretation is finalizing the skit script. Please forward your suggestions A.S.A.P.

Guys, For Serious, No More Fist-Bumps Around the Office

2008-07-14T09:37:00.002-04:00

Bad things will happen!

Risky Business at LAJC

2008-07-10T12:01:00.006-04:00

Do we really need to have a long discussion about whether or not a male lackey should wear pants to work?

We're not talking about wearing shorts, like the cool outfits they wear in the Bahamas, with blazers and ties. We're not even talking about wearing shorts with a tee shirt or a polo shirt.

An unnamed lackey has come to work today looking for all the world like a man who simply forgot to put his pants on this morning.

Dress shirt. Tie. Boxer-short-looking swim trunks. And flip flops.

I've got to believe I'm not the only one who finds it a tad disconcerting to see a man in a dress shirt and tie, walking around the office with no pants on.

Getting Creepy in the Office

2008-07-09T21:42:00.012-04:00

So, I would never name names, but there's a certain unnamed male lackey (we'll call him Dude) who has been observed 'flirting' in the office with an unnamed female lackey (we'll call her Babe) in the past. Nothing scandalous, of course. Just friendly flirting.

Well, what I thought was just a penchant for friendly banter turned a little weird today.

Dude mentioned to Babe his recent discovery of a new type of women's skimpy swimsuit.

Hmm.

Dude then follows this up with discussion about a line of apparel from Victoria's Secret.

Huh...

Where is this headed, Dude? Because I think you may be the only one who wants to go there.

The Truth of OGIs (aka, Soylent Green is People!)

2008-07-09T19:38:00.010-04:00

Very shortly all the law student interns will be signing up for the action-packed week of tawdry speed-dating known as on grounds interviews (OGIs).

The last couple of weeks at LAJC, we'll all be gorging ourselves on virtuous legal work...fattening up our souls before we offer them up on the auction block for bidding by the purveyors of corporate greed...Big Law.

You see, the way the economics of it works, the more virtue we can pack on this summer, the more vice Big Law will have to shower us with next summer as they seek to seduce us into finally signing away our souls. And while some Big Law firms prefer to avoid all that work, and bypass candidataes who still have consciences to assuage, the best ones know that if they can purchase the allegiance of people with a well developed sense of duty, they can use that to their advantage as they squeeze the pulp from their junior associates.

Ah, yes...when our Big Law firms next summer are showing us a lifestyle would make Dennis Kozlowski blush, that's when all this do-gooding will really pay off. For us, I mean.

For those nervous about OGIs

2008-07-09T09:19:00.002-04:00

Advice in musical form:

They offered me the office, offered me the shop
They said I better take anything they got
Do you wanna make tea at the BBC?
Do you wanna be, do really wanna be a cop?

Career opportunities are the ones that never knock
Every job they offer you is to keep out the dock
Career opportunities, the ones that never knock

I hate the army and I hate the RAF
I don’t wanna go fighting in the tropical heat
I hate the civil service rules
And I won’t open letter bombs for you

Career opportunities are the ones that never knock
Every job they offer you is to keep out the dock
Career opportunities, the ones that never knock

Bus driver!
Ambulance man!
Ticket inspector!
I DONT UNDERSTAND!

They’re gonna have to introduce conscription
They’re gonna have to take away my prescription
If they wanna get me making toys
If they wanna get me, well HELL, I got not choice

Career opportunities are the ones that never knock
Every job they offer you is to keep out the dock
Career opportunities, the ones that never knock

Careers
Careers
Careers
Ain’t a-never gonna knock

Joe Strummer rocked on to law review, we think.

Grammar

2008-07-08T11:27:00.004-04:00

Imagine this. During a much-needed break, two interns are practicing for the upcoming on campus interviews for current 2Ls. One intern sets the scene. "OK, you be Covington and Burling, I'll be I"

At this point, others interjected, saying, "I'll be I" or "I will be I" could not possibly be right. But it is.

Any two nouns linked by some form of the verb "to be", including its future or subjunctive or past tenses, are always both in the nominative or subjective case, e.g., "Who will be the winner?/ The winner will be who?" --> "He will be the winner / The winner will be he."

NOT

~~"The winner will be him."~~

~~"Whom will be the winner?"~~

~~"The winner will be whom?"~~

Gettin' Funky, Old School

2008-07-03T17:15:00.009-04:00

So, for anyone who Liz hasn't brought back to the sunny room already...we now have a sweet 8-track stereo system up and running.

For some strange reason, 8-track tapes are no longer in wide circulation, but we've managed to get a few for our listening pleasure. Some are in better condition than others...Gloria Gaynor appears to be the best at this point, but I've got an e-Bay bid riding on a McCartney & Wings "Band on the Run" 8-track that just might have to get played non-stop until I'm sick of it, if I win the bidding.

So, baby boomers and immediate post-boomers, bring all your old 8-tracks to the sunny room and take a stroll down memory lane. We could even clear some tables and you can show us your moves. (Alex, we know you've got moves that you haven't busted out in a long time.)

. . .

Sad update...

It looks like the Funk Factory needs some cleaning and tuning up before we entrust any really good 8-tracks to it. This afternoon it ate up Peter Frampton (not "Comes Alive"...that would have been a trajedy...the album was "It's in Me," ironically). Dang!

Shanks!

2008-07-02T13:14:00.002-04:00

Dear Boiler Room,

Who drew the picture of the birthday cake on the bunker board? Thanks for making my "14th" birthday so special! =D
~Crystal

A shocking revelation! (also, Quote of the Day)

2008-07-02T10:03:00.002-04:00

Lackey 1: "You know what I think would help our friendship? If you emptied this hole punch for me."

Lackey 2, opening the hole punch base to empty it into the trash, shocked: "Whoa!!! It's full of these...paper holes!"

2008-07-01T15:35:00.001-04:00

"I've only hit someone in the face once....it was actually a girl."
-our fearless leader

Flirting...at work...!

2008-06-27T21:02:00.007-04:00

As an anonymous lackey, I normally wouldn't share this with the entire readership of the blog (thanks for all the cards & letters, by the way), but this was just too egregious to let slide.

So I was sitting in one of the LAJC work rooms (aka, the Bunker) with other lackeys, pleasantly enjoying the fluorescent lights and stale air on a summer day when one young, single lackey ("Dude," let's call him) starts blatantly flirting with another young, single lackey ("Babe," we'll call her).

Babe was gamely carrying her end of the conversation, but from what I could tell, Dude was definitely pushing it.

So, dispassionate lackey that I am, I made the simple observation that there was a lot of flirting going on. This was followed by startled looks and nervous laughter. No problem.

Only, Dude teased Babe, who blushed a little, and then Dude announces that Babe has turned so red.

This wouldn't be so bad, but as it so happens, Dude's complexion is essentially blush-proof. So Dude thinks he's making a clean getaway, and shifting embarrassment to Babe. At least, that's how it appeared to this dispassionate lackey.

Not cool, Dude.

I'll get you for this!!!

2008-06-27T17:14:00.009-04:00

As we're sure many others have noticed, a little oasis of sweetness has recently dried up at LAJC. Emily Dreyfus has made some drastic changes in her office...including the elimination of the little candy dish.

First, several weeks ago, we noticed that the dish contained grotesquely undersized Hershey Kisses. But at least there was something.

Now it's gone. GONE!

This is a blog, not a vlog, so I you'll just have to trust that I'm rolling around on the floor right now, kicking and screaming and crying and cursing. Aaaaarrrrgggghhh!!!

Quote/banter of the day

2008-06-27T13:35:00.003-04:00

Intern: Kyle and Julia are having a baby!

Other Intern: What, together?

Draft Day!

2008-06-26T13:49:00.005-04:00

Draft Day is finally here! Keep your fingers crossed that we'll hear Sean Singletary's name called tonight. Do y'all remember a certain blog post about man-crushes? Well, there was another recent conversation regarding #44 involving the same party.

Crystal: I really hope Sean is drafted.

Jose: The only thing is that there are so many point guards in this year's draft.

[unidentified male]: Yeah, but are any of them as much of a STONE-COLD STUD as he is?

Best wishes, Sean!

Cultural Critic Reviews Local Legend

2008-06-26T12:25:00.006-04:00

One of the things the younger lackeys will someday discover is the potentially delicate dance of entertaining the visiting in-laws. Well, last weekend this lackey's in-laws were in town, resulting in my first visit to Walton's Mountain Museum.

For our younger readers (younger than, say, 30), The Waltons was beloved TV show that ran from 1972-1981, and took place just a half-hour south of Charlottesville, in Schuyler...although the location was referred to as Walton's Mountain. (Hence, the name of the museum.) Check out Wikipedia for more info on the show. Suffice it to say, it was not an action-packed thrill-ride. But the in-laws watch it twice a day on the Hallmark Channel, so we made the pilgrimage.

If any of you who have been in Charlottesville for any length of time have (inexplicably) yet to visit Walton's Mountain Museum, let me summarize the experience.

It started with a video shot in 1992, when the museum opened, about why the show was so great, and how it improbably trounced the Flip Wilson Show and the Mod Squad in ratings (they must have mentioned that a half-dozen times) and thereby saved America from moral decay and cultural doom. Thank heavens.

The most interesting thing, though, was that we weren't the only ones visiting the museum when we were there. There were probably 6 other groups or families visiting. At least one had an English accent. And apparently there's not just a Waltons Fan Club (which you can join for $15/yr), but some kind of Waltons groupie club in England, too. Who knew?

Anyway...if you're a Hallmark Channel junkie (and I know lots of you are), and want to restore your faith in good old American virtue, go for it. ($6 for admission)

Trivia Champs

2008-06-26T10:48:00.002-04:00

Congrats to the trivia team last night! Even though we didn't carry the night, first place at the half is still awesome. And one intern was a surprise trivia maniac, who knew almost all the answers and could've been a winning team all on his own. I think, with his help, the interns could successfully challenge the LAJC staff at a future trivia night.

Woke Up This Morning . . . Got Yourself a Gun!

2008-06-26T10:44:00.002-04:00

Scalia to the District: You from the hood (DC), I hope ya . . . GOT YOURSELF A GUN!

Who's the Boom King?

2008-06-25T14:32:00.005-04:00

The term "hot date" has been thrown around the Bunker and its sunny colony a lot lately.

One fairly quiet intern seems to go on actual dates with his/her Hot Date. Another has been having dinner a lot lately with several Hot Dates, but claims there's nothing to this. A third seems to be curious about where one finds a Hot Date. (Others are either already in steady relationships, or perhaps too discrete to mention the topic.)

So, who actually is the Boom King or Queen? (A reference to Flight of the Conchords...as is the photo.)

My money's on the fairly quiet lackey, or perhaps the totally silent one.

Snaps, Claws, and Wedding Lists

2008-06-25T12:22:00.003-04:00

So I'm wondering if anyone, anywhere, other than one person in the annex, thinks regularly about their wedding list when the possibility of marriage is not impending. For instance, when someone holds the door open for you, one thinking about their wedding list might say "Thanks, I'll hold the door for you...at my wedding." So, anybody thinking about the list of invitees at their not happening anytime soon wedding?