The LAJC

 

Killing trees, losing coolers, Michigans, and gangs

D: I can't find my cooler, which is distressing since my apartment is so small, and my cooler is so big.
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S: I just killed three trees to keep one person in the U.S.

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(After a discussion about Guidos on Long Island)

L: What is a Guido?

(After a discussion about IHOP)

L: I've never eaten at an IHOP before.
M: What? It's the INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes!
D: So you've never heard of a guido, or eaten at an IHOP? What kind of place is Michigan anyway???

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The guy from the jail tour: Did you know there are gang members in Congress? And Venus and Serena Williams are members of the Crips?
C: What? I don't believe that.
K: Wait...who are Venus and Serena Williams?
C: Seriously, Kristin?