Community Youth Justice Jam

The LAJC

 

Killing trees, losing coolers, Michigans, and gangs

D: I can't find my cooler, which is distressing since my apartment is so small, and my cooler is so big.
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S: I just killed three trees to keep one person in the U.S.

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(After a discussion about Guidos on Long Island)

L: What is a Guido?

(After a discussion about IHOP)

L: I've never eaten at an IHOP before.
M: What? It's the INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes!
D: So you've never heard of a guido, or eaten at an IHOP? What kind of place is Michigan anyway???

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The guy from the jail tour: Did you know there are gang members in Congress? And Venus and Serena Williams are members of the Crips?
C: What? I don't believe that.
K: Wait...who are Venus and Serena Williams?
C: Seriously, Kristin?

One more...

RIP Michael Jackson

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

Jackson 5 - I want you back!(check Michael's outfit!)

Duck Tales...OOh Ooh!

M...this link is for you to become familiar with a cartoon classic.

Duck Tales Intro....

All By Myself....In the Bunker....Song of the Youth Avenger

(To the tune of All By Myself)

Yesterday.....
I didn't need anyone... 
But I'd get distracted just for fun
Those days are gone
Workin' alone
I think of all the jokes we've told
But when I look across the room... 
I'm all alone....

All by myself
Dont wanna be
All by myself
Anymore

Hard to be sure
Maybe candy is the cure
For friends so distant and obscure
Hey look a fruit punch jolly rancher....

All by myself
Dont wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Dont wanna work
All by myself
Anymore

When I was busy
I didn't need any distractions
I didn't want to have fun...
Now I'm alone....

All by myself
Dont wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Dont wanna work
Oh
Dont wanna work
By myself, by myself
Anymore
By myself
Anymore
Oh
All by myself
Dont wanna work

I know what you're thinking....but I wrote this all during my lunch break.

A: But.. the sesame street picture!

B: Are you okay? It sounds like you're laughing.

A: I'm just, I look at it and it makes me sad inside. I'm like "no Elmo, don't do it!"

A: Are you, like Catholic or Jewish or something?

B: No... Well, I took this facebook quiz and it said I was 100% Jewish.

A: Well, that's probably just because you're educated and guilty....

A: Wait, you help people get n-a-t-u-r-a-l-i-z-e-d?

B: Yeah, she specializes in organic immigrants...

A: Oooohhh

Parking Lot Rap

Straight from the street (in the LAJC parking lot) to your computer screen...

I'm real slick just like a
serpant It's like I'm da king
and yall ma servants yeah I
run [poop] like comander + chief
I'm so rich that I got gold in
ma teeth so yall [playas] Ain't
touching me riding in a low
paste so aint no rushin me yeah
boy I'm da boss get anything
don't even care what it coast
dat's just the life of a hustler
True gansta ain't livin da life
of a sucka came from a life
of rags but I got riches money
cloths [promiscuous women] + big booty b*ch*s.

Quotes of the Week....6/11/09

(P talking about Sunny D)

P: It might be orange juice or it might be cancer.

************

L: Have you gotten a dog yet?

M: I was moving....I didn't have time to procure a dog.

R: Really. Did you just say procure a dog?

*************

T: You can't drink twenty of anything without it burning a little.

************

(After eating a chip...L does a little dance)

P: Chip dance?

************

L: I had so many cookies.  I had like 2 and a half today.

R: I had like 3.

W: I lost count.

*************

W: Do you know if you eat  3 meals a day, but spread it over six times a day you burn like 10 times more.  

G: Wow, fancy math.

(Next day at an official Board meeting)

W: Gosh I've had like 2 breakfasts today...I shouldn't eat anymore.

G: Really cause I heard if you eat 5 meals a day, but spread it over 8 time a day you burn like 10 times more.

P: (Laughing) When we get in the car you are so getting a high five for that one. 

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O: I don't have a recycling bin at my apartment, so I do it whenever I can.

L: I know me too...it makes me hurt inside.

O: You know there are places you can go and recycle your stuff.

L: I know, but I'm too lazy to drive it anywhere.

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Video of the Day -- June 9th, 2009

A true classic: "Goat Yelling Like a Man"

THE CHRONIC! (catnip)

While looking on craigslist to adopt a dog, despite living in an apartment that does not allow pets, I found this link:

http://www.thechroniccatnipcompany.com/ (the strongest stuff to ever hit the street!)

The time has come to put an end to the ruthless catnip consortium’s heartless agenda. The time has come for a new American catnip company, and that time is now, and that company is us. We don’t just sell catnip; we sell justice in a jar. We have sought out and partnered with excusive organic farmers dedicated to hand growing micro batches of the most biologically intense strains of Catnip ever discovered. The result of years of select farming and cultivation can be found here, and only here, in our Crippler Catnippler ™ custom chronic blend. Our Nepetalacton content is out of control - this nip will absolutely blow your cats friggin mind. No other catnip company anywhere in the world can sell you anything that even approaches our level of quality. Sure, others might have something to sell, but they do not have The Chronic, that’s a fact. Just give us a try and ask your cat. Your smallest family member will fall head over paws for the high end quality of our catnip’s premium organic buzz. It's the BOMB!

Kids' Litigation Lioness (AKA Corinne Kizner)

Welcome to the Jungle...the Juvenile Justice Jungle that is. Things can get challenging around here, but there's nothing the Kids' Litigation Lioness can't do with a crown, a torch, sunglasses, a spandex lion suit, and a pet lion "Leo". When cases get tough, the Lioness gets tougher. With the help of her fellow heroes from the Fortress of Solitude, you can rest assure that kids and immigrants in the Charlottesville and surrounding communities are getting adequate legal assistance. When not saving juveniles from evil, the Lioness enjoys happy hours and lunches with her co-heroes. When asked what the Kids' Litigation Lioness thought of her job so far, she summed it up in one word: "GRRRReat!"

Justice Jive: Quotes of the Day 6/5/09

Here are some of my favorite quotes of the day.  Please add your favorite quotes or edit mine!!

D: I've been accused of using too many commas.  One teacher wrote that I sprinkle commas around like fairy dust.

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C: Apparently in the 1940s they used to call minors...infants, and I was so confused.  In this case they talk about an infant convicted of rape and I was like WHAT!

*********

D: If we don't get ice cream today can we take another field trip?

(A jokes with D)

A: Sure just come to my office and say... (kid voice)... Andy can we go get ice cream?

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T: I'm from Texas

D: Ooh...I'm sorry....haha I'm messing with it.

******

T: My eyebrows look so weird.

D: What normally or on the super hero

*****

C: one time I pressed the ebt button at the store and the guy asked me if I used food stamps.  I was kind of embarrassed, but then I found five dollars....... that was a bad story. (laughter)

S: That saved it though...

******

K: Oh no...I wanted chocolate *pout*

J: Oh...you know what happen...we ate it....

******

C: K how fluent are you in Spanish?

K: Not.

Happy D'ohnut Day!

June 5th is National Doughnut Day. We are currently researching, among other important legal matters, whether there are any locations in the greater Charlottesville area that are celebrating Donut/Doughnut Day by giving poor interns free donuts. In the meantime, enjoy this video...

Also, has anyone been to a donut place called the fractured prune?
http://www.fracturedprune.com/

Also, the Boiler Room talked a lot of trash about blogging, but there have been grumblings in the Bunker. Quotes like: "What now chumps?" and "Their blog is hurting" and "The background looks like my grandmother's wallpaper" and "Well, they do have starburst though"

Justice Jive: Quotes of the Day

Here are the random quotes of the day.  Please add more or correct mine...

What do you do if you're trying to verify the identity of someone you want to sue?

"Do a toothpaste survey.  Ask them what kind of toothpaste they use...if they like it...and then ask where they use to work and where they currently work now."

J: What is that smell...where did you...why do I...where did you get your sandwich?

D: Why...is it fragrant?

*******

J: I just did a fist wag and a fist pump over the same email...

(minutes later...)

D: Does a fist wag cancel out a fist pump?

*****

D: Female lions don't have manes.

C: Oh...I think I gave her a mane...(referring to her newly created superhero)

D: Yeah...it kind of looks like a beard...but a feminine beard.

*****

K: I feel so bad, but S is so convincing.

J: Why?

C: S drove us to Sticks.

K: We were ordering and we could see the office from where we ordered.

S: It could have rained and I don't like crossing streets.  It's safer for me to drive.

******

J: Do you like mayo?

K: Yeah...but only with turkey sandwiches.

J: I just got new mayo and I guess there was something wrong with my old mayo...cause I made a sandwich with my new mayo and it was DELICIOUS!  (Goes on and on about how delicious the new mayo is)

M: Now I'm a little worried that you were eating the old mayo.  

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Meet La Estupenda Madre Jones (A.K.A Kristin)

She is a caped crusader for immigrant justice.  She and her trusty pet parrot..el loro...help innocent people get the just compensation that they deserve.  Watch out employers...she may not be out for blood (hence the lack of a sword and the addition of a book), but she's out for your money! 

In the words of her predecessor Mary "Mother" Jones, "Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Harris_Jones

Make Life Better...one Fist Pump at a Time

Tiger Woods does it.. Kobe Bryant does it... even adorable kids do it...and it makes a world of difference. You might ask what am I talking about...(especially if you didn't read the title of the post)....well I'm talking about the fist pump.  

The fist pump is defined by Wikipedia as " a celebratory gesture in which a closed fist is raised before the torso and subsequently drawn down and nearer to the body in a vigorous, swift motion."  

Today, KidJustice and Youth Avenger discovered the power of this celebratory gesture involving vigorous and swift motions.  They discovered that it made them feel better about taking countless hours to find one cite and weeks to find different versions of the same section in a statutory code.  So today...we honor the fist pump...the gesture of champions.

Turning the Tables...

and making cops work for kids...

Yay for Thursday!! Field Trips & Ice Pops(??)

Thursday is a BIG field trip day for most of the JustChildren folks...the fortress of solitude (aka the bunker) will be just that for those left behind.  I heart field trips (see caricature of me on a school bus lovin' field trips).  You know what would be a perfect cap to a field trip...an ice pop party at work.... (see visual aid for said ice pop).  Note that I'm not talking about the fancy ice pops with Disney characters on them...I'm talking about the wal-mart ones that taste like frozen kool-aid...with wonderful, assorted flavors like...blue and red.  I know what you're thinking...but we can't afford ice pops with real flavors here...seriously...we're in a recession.  Ok...I'm callin' it...we're having an ice pop party...the weather better cooperate.  

Introducing The Youth Avenger...A.K.A Jeree

 Jeree is a lowly JustChildren Law Clerk by day...but at night...the wings come out and this sword-willing, bird-like sister raises holy heck on those who wish to harm children...Introducing the Youth Avenger....

Meet Kid Justice (A.K.A. Derrick)

The First Member of Legal Aid Justice League has Emerged from the Fortress of Solitude... meet Kid Justice...a JustChildren law clerk by day...but a sword slinging, batcat having, bunny slipper wearing super hero at night. Watch out all those who seek to harm the young and defenseless...Kid Justice is HERE!!!